Who is death worthy and why.  You or me?  What is the criteria?  Your political affiliation, your religion, your economic status.  How about the country you were born in, immigration status or the activities you engage in.  Are you a drug addict, gambler, alcoholic, narcissist.  How about your mental health, education or body size.  How is it that we form such strong opinions on who deserves to be here and who doesn’t. 

I recently came across a social media comment that boldly stated that George Floyd’s death was justified due to him being a “bad guy”  Hmm… a “bad guy”, what does that I mean I wondered.  I probed.  This conversation came up in the context of the very public sainthood status people have been putting upon Charlie Kirk, who as we all know was not assassinated by a left wing radical revolutionary, but by a non political anarchist, but some how this incident got compared to the outrage Americans felt in the aftermath of George Floyd’s murder.  An outrage that was further fueled by the murder of Breonna Taylor and years of black and brown people being murdered by police with no accountability.  It was further fueled by the very terroristic acts of law enforcement spraying tear gas into crowds of peaceful protestors during rallies.  Rallies that were meant to reach the heart of humanity to say enough is enough, please stop killing people because of the color of their skin, or the status of the criteria mentioned above.

I saw multiple posts claiming that the mostly white, but not all, people who were mourning the death of Charlie Kirk were not burning down cities and how much better they were to how the “We” were in the face of random chaos.  They never came right out and said that “we” were the black lives matter movement.  I believed it was on purpose in order to deny the comparison and make it look like “We” were the ones making it about race.  A classic baiting but either way the seed was planted and yes I took the bait.  I could not understand how a man who had very public and negative opinions about black people was being held up as a symbol of Jesus Christianity and as a savior of all things good and pure.  I am still at a loss as to how this man reflects the heart of Jesus, but I am even more confused as to why the mostly white and mostly republican community seems to pour out in tremendous empathy over this life lost, and would go as far as awarding the medal of freedom, while at the same time dismissing and disregarding the tragic loss and blatant murder of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Tamir Rice, Aiyana Jones, Elijah McClain, just to name a small small few.  Where are these people in the cry for justice when these police officers exercise cold blooded murder?

The comment that had me scratching my head in deep contemplation about the psychology of racism came from a dear friend who in the comments  pleaded the case of wanting to love and get along with everyone but who is also in alignment with the far right rhetoric of the times.   This friend, among others on this post, came up with some interesting reasons as to why George Floyd deserved to die.  First it was mentioned that his death was not caused by the police officers who pinned him down for 8 minutes while he pleaded for air. His death was attributed to something else that supposedly the medical examiner said was the clinical cause of death.  A technical name that helps create a little bit of doubt and confusion which does a jedi mind trick on those who refuse to see what is in plain sight.  Beyond the official cause of death I want to understand the logic of the incident itself in reference to this person’s claim that he got what he got cuz he deserved it by his actions as a “bad guy in general”; however the actions of people I grew up with have often been the same types of behavior and sometimes worse.  This is the empathetic disconnect which has left me disheartened. Why aren’t they able to put themselves in those compassionate shoes. Why I wonder?

I wonder why it is that in the white community I grew up in has such an aversion to racial justice even though we all have witnessed many people who were addicted to drugs, heroin, coke and weed (at a time when it was illegal).  We, in this farm town, blue collar white community have also witnessed folks who have run from police, resisted arrest and mouthed off to police in the face of fear and yet we are all still alive.  I have seen police officers come to their house wondering why they fled from the scene of a crime where the perpetrators were trespassing and stealing equipment.  How lucky for them that, being a small community, and having compassionate officers, the officers listened to the reasoning as to why they did what they did and had empathy enough to give them a warning and a ticket. I have also seen friends devastated by domestic disputes and restraining orders due to alcoholic fits of rage and they are still alive. I bring this up not to excuse their actions but to understand why the friends who I know and love who have experienced run-ins with the law first hand would then turn around and demonize George Floyd for allegedly having a “bad” past. 

The crime he was stopped for, having a counterfeit bill, wasn’t even pleaded in court so we will never know if it was true and even if so is that death worthy?  The other claim my friend made was that he resisted arrest; however I watched every minute of that trial and watched the video countless times and I saw him being very compliant but stating he was claustrophobic and having anxiety.  My dear friend grew up with debilitating anxiety so why is it impossible to step into his shoes?  What happens in the brain to make a person disconnect one’s person’s experience from being valid and the others, the “we” as  deserving of being held down by four police officers to the point of death.

I once worked at a residential school for disturbed youth and part of the protocol was to put “bad” kids into restraints.  The offense could be from a threat of violence and harm to others to just plain non-compliance, but more often than not I saw it to be a power trip.  These restraints were upheld by both black and white councilors which makes me wonder if the core of the issue is about power and hierarchy in the face of those who come from broken homes and impoverished communities.  I was even written up once for refusing to put a girl into a restraint.  My reasoning was due to the fact that the girl was clearly provoked by a counselor who made an authoritative ask of the girl that she then rebelled against.  Yes, according to protocol the girl was not allowed to talk back to a councilor; however the councilors youth and inexperience made her request a frivolous matter in my opinion and her outburst was justified even though not a smart choice.  My decision to let the girl run out of the room and leave it to the professional crisis team to handle was my heart telling me to pick and choose my battles, especially when it comes to the possibility of scarring a child who already faces the world in survivor mode. What crimes warrant extreme measures?

He, George Floyd, was not violent or a threat to his immediate surroundings. He died on a city street while  children watched.  He died while pleading for his mother as the officer stared cold hearted into the camera.  The big reveal of him being on drugs was half a pill found in the back seat of the car and the  toxicity report, which was done after the fact,  showed minimal amounts of substance to cause concern.  Ok yes, lets all agree that this is not a great way to live your life but is it death worthy?  Is it a violent crime that warrants four police pinning you down until you die.

The comments made on social media paint a picture of a gun wielding psychopath.  How is it that my friends who themselves have watched their loved ones suffer from extreme drug addiction and criminal behavior be so callous? I wonder what her thoughts would be if this had happened to a person that she loved? Would she think he deserved it, would she think that this protocol by police was justified in “saving our streets”?  Which is more damaging to the children, watching a man die in front of them at the hands of law enforcement or a man trying to get away with using a fake twenty dollar bill.  Isn’t there a better way they could and should handle the situation?  Should these victims be given a public vigil by our public leaders in government? If so then why do we demonize George Floyd and not use his life as a vehicle to make this world better.

What is the psychology of racism?  What is it that makes a person live in a world of the imperfect yet supports the extermination of others who  are also imperfect and make mistakes?  What is the deciding factor, is it political allegiance?  Is it a parental obligation?  Is it fear of being shut out of the community agenda?  What is the psychology of racism?  What is it that allows a swarm of people to put Charlie Kirk on a pedestal while at the same time shunning the tears of a distraught grandmother pleading for understanding as to why her 7 year old granddaughter was shot and killed sleeping on her couch.  What is it that allows a movement to claim Charlie Kirk as the mouthpiece of Jesus but allow Elijah McClain an innocent autistic man who rescues cats and pleads at his death that he was a pacifist, a vegetarian and only wants to love people to be ignored?  When do we pour out our love and devotion to the boyfriend of Breonna Taylor who witnessed a swarm of officers murder the love of his life in the middle of the night?  How is it that the hearts of the followers of this rhetoric are able to have such outpouring for this one life but venom and dismissiveness for others.  What is the psychology of racism?  Do you know?  Who is death worthy?  Yes? Or No?