Fair weather wake up

The Saga

is selfish

histrionic

A lying manipulative person holding onto dear life.

An image of youth princess sociallyte that never quite made it happen.

Relying heavily on a rich husband and hippy style boyfriend popping onto the stage once a moon to keep the fire lit after another tormented argument trapped in jealous delusion.

Beyond a fantasy of desperate need for others to carry them along with a fanfare parade of accolades that once mesmerized codependents like me to cling to coat tails now faded as dust and chaos remain.

I witness the truth in the breath grabbing straws of recognition with each new business venture laid on a pyramid of political opinions in conspiracies making lively conversation.

Unraveling among yarns of nostalgia with the spotlight upon only them.

HEATED under the surface

All cost and sorrow over what might have been had she not poured it all into motherhood.

Extreme generosity a genuine consolation prize distracting a shady efficiency of being thrown under the bus I gladly take the blame and my apologies for holding her accountable to things said and promises made.

How dare I

I can see now moving back from the flame the busyness as a smoke screen to avoid quality and depth that her skills to throw money at any hint of disappointment towards unfair play.

The pedestal in the distance seems more like a prison cell surrounded by a tornado with the false calm at the center. 

The weather is better in the valley and chasing storms no longer give me thrills.

Not Open to Feedback

I’m not open to feedback

I see it on your face

Nicely tucked away in the folds of that compliment on how my words touched your heart.

A friendly tip from that one time he spoke her poem in front of the class and learned how to project and articulate correctly.

I know how hard you work at being the best expert audience for all things oratory

And with that infectious grin and such a solid handshake, how can I contradict

The ways I tell a story to preamble my presentation and manage to always stumble over the screech of the microphone

How when you saw that famous nomad from the city and an oh so spunky talent from out west

and how you loved the way they leaned into the tale about the kids with spaghetti on their face that made everyone feel that they were sitting at the table

But you have admired all my work and just love how I assemble a particulate of banter and flow a good alliteration, “is that the right word”, or metaphorical patter.

I thank you for the compliment and admire the oranges and yellows in your shirt; a wonderful drishti spot to calm my nerves that you said you “didn’t even notice”

With that said

And what to for among sincere thanks and appreciation to you for attending

However; with a grin

“Not open to feedback”