You are my family. You are my dad, my mom, my sister, my brother. You are my roommate, my landlord, my safety net but you are not my friend.

You are not my friend because my friend will stand up for my character and integrity in the face of scrutiny.

You are not my friend because my friend would not avoid conflict but embrace it above the belt: not below. My friend is knowing that we each are human and bleed when cut.

You are not my friend because I can not trust your word and your words are slippery to suit your righteousness.

I have no friends but if I did, my friend would have my back. My friend be humble enough to apologize for an insult. Love me enough to hold back the punches.

I have no friends because the common denominator is me and the false friends left scars that need to be healed.

I drew them in because they felt like home: they felt safe. I knew no different and thought I deserved it; Then I turned around and started to meet people who believe in me.

I started to meet people who are kind and honest and true.

I started to meet people who looked at my good more often than my flaws.

I still keep my distance from them because I can’t yet trust that it is real. How can it be real when those who say they love me the most: sling arrows.

Lie,

cheat,

degrade

humiliate.

You are not my friend. You must earn that right: but you have my love and forgiveness because that’s what families do.

You have my love and forgiveness because you and I are still comrade in DNA, in experience and in flesh.

You have my love and forgiveness because the space I once held for you is now occupied by the Friend in Me:)